You Have To Want It More Than You Are Afraid Of It

Apr. 8, 2026

Humpday Haiku

Crossing the river,

they know crocodiles are there,

but they still move on.

It’s so easy to ask another person a ton of questions to see if they have checked all the boxes you think they need to check so they can get or have their life in order. You want all good things for them, and you’re just doing your part to get them on the right track. You say. Your control issues are now out of control. Or your care-taking affliction has become your addiction.

You expended all that energy on them, but there is some colossal thing looming large in your own life that you’re avoiding. You are looking outward at others rather than facing the inner work of taking care of what’s been staring at you for a very long time. You have a convenient story available that makes you rationalize the delay. It comforts you and you readily share it. But that big task has a way of getting bigger the longer you neglect it. You want it to go away, but only you can make that happen.

Consider this other draining picture. Perhaps there are some people in your life that you can’t get rid of because they’re a fixture in your world, but there’s something about this relationship that vexes your soul. So many times you have realized things were happening when you were in conversation with them. Your shoulders tighten, your breathing changes, your stomach gets knotted, a pain in your forehead shows up, or you grind your teeth. Your body is definitely telling you that something needs to change. You tell yourself to just endure it. Maybe you do endure it, but you’re complaining the entire time.

Whether you are in the first or the second camp, come out of your head with those placating stories. Acknowledge what your body already knows: it’s time to move. The stress is more than your body wants to manage, and your spirit doesn’t flow freely when it’s bearing a needless burden.

There’s a river you need to cross. When African-Americans decided they were done being trafficked and enslaved, rather than waiting for a U.S. President to change the destiny of their lives they traveled north and crossed the Ohio River to a new life. Move towards the thing you want most to happen and take that first step. You’ve told yourself a story and have it on loop, playing over and over. You can create a new one with a more ideal ending.

I can always see a way to bring the Bible to life. Here is today’s example. Years ago I attended a church that taught a plan of salvation. It’s a heaven-focused model for transforming your life. I’m always looking for ways to manage life on earth, so I applied it to my here and now. I’m modifying it for purposes of this post to provide a framework for shifting things.

· Hear the message that a better life is possible.

· Believe that a better life can be yours. Marinate in the message.

· Name the thing(s) you need to move away from.

· Move away from it/them. Shed the old skin!

· Immerse yourself in that choice to change. Discover what the new life will look like.

Walk into that new way of being.

Think about creating your own checklist of things with SMART goals, options for resources and potential partners to help you knock out that massive project.

Craft a conversation about boundaries that respect your well-being and keeps the relationship intact in a healthier way.

Make sure when you write your new script that you build in space for some tension. There’s always tension. I would never send you off believing that the crossing will be problem free. Every good plot has some high drama. You’re going to bump into your old mindset and those shadowy thoughts that kept you stuck may feel like you’re being pulled under. Maybe you’ll bump into someone or something that wants to interrupt your river crossing. Commit to staying true to your new story. You’ll be stronger on the other side.