5 Questions To Recognize Failing Missions: Lessons From The Garden (Vol. 5)

September, 2021

I’m not gardening this year, but I sensed that my husband needed help. He didn’t ask for it. But I could tell from what he was harvesting and how he was bringing it home that there was probably something that needed to be done, that I could do.

Let me say at the outset that we manage space differently. The first time I went to harvest some mustard greens, my body tensed. His garden plan was not the way I would have mapped it out. But I was just there for one quick take, then get out. Today I came to get all the remaining greens. They are so tender and light. The first harvest was plentiful enough for me to share with an 85 year old neighbor, who was delighted to get them, as was my 93 year old mother. The elders love garden fresh vegetables. Many of them have grown their own for years, but are no longer able to get down in the soil. I took my mother the greens along with some red and green tomatoes. I fried one of the green tomatoes for her to eat with her lunch. While she ate, I finished washing the greens. Later my mother called me later to say how much she enjoyed the greens. She put them on to cook as I was leaving, and when they were done she grabbed some leftover chicken, some cornbread and sliced one of the red, ripe tomatoes. That meal transported her home again, to her southern roots. She’s declining and her voice isn’t as strong as it once was, but on that call, there was joy and lots of energy.

That scene wasn’t going to be repeated this weekend. Over a month ago I told my husband that there were some white spots on a few leaves at the end of the row of greens. He didn’t address the problem. Today the entire patch of greens had to be pulled up and discarded. When you see something, say something. That’s clear, but then someone must do something about what was observed and stated, explained, or suggested. The person managing or leading the work has to listen and hear and have the will to correct a problem. Could I have taken care of it? Yes, in the short term. Merely pulling up those few would be a quick fix. But this problem is one that requires vigilance and regular checks, and I was committed to another project of my own, which is why I wasn’t in the garden in the first place.

Should I have taken care of it? Yes…probably. Minding boundaries is sometimes tricky for me. It’s not my garden. I’m not in charge. Don’t want to overstep. And today I see the results of that choice to not intervene. The work of preparing the soil, planting and tending to the crop was wiped out because a problem didn’t get the attention it needed. If I say “I knew it. I knew it.”, is that to myself or the person overseeing the initiative, who is also a partner? I’m not a savior. I don’t know everything. However, and you knew there was a ‘but’ because this is the right place for one, I know what I know. (See the archived blog post, Stay With Yourself: Only you can bring your gift to the party, Feb. 1, 2011).

Contrasting styles aside, the plan for this garden had flaws from the beginning. It was going to be overwhelming. Many things weren’t going to get proper attention. We all have limitations in thinking, visioning and planning. The planner didn’t acknowledge his own. Some of what was planted was more of an afterthought, without any intent to use at home; perhaps just give-aways. Yet it called for time, energy, labor and materials, some of which could have been better utilized.

From a distance, things looked good. And when I asked about the garden there was never a request for help, that anything needed more attention that he could provide, that it was too much, that he didn’t have the energy he needed each day to do the work. What needed to be communicated simply was not. Why? There could be many reasons, but the bottom line is that efforts were wasted, and time could have been better allocated with the humble acknowledgment that things had changed, and what had been envisioned in the original plan was not unfolding well.

We all have gifts. We are given them to be used. It is natural for humans to collaborate, partner and build together what is needed. In the collaboration there must be communication, which requires active listening to hear. Truly hear what is being asked or requested, what is said, questioned, suggested and even demanded.

Everything remaining on the row had to be snatched out. The rest of the greens were inedible and keeping them was pointless. Now an empty space remains. Since there are no plans to extend the gardening season into the fall, this season of growing is over.

Is there something you see and need to apprise someone of?

Is there something that needs to be addressed and you seem to be the only one with energy for the task?

Is there a boundaries conversation you can have to support better outcomes?

Is there a grace-filled conversation you can have about blind spots?

Do you see ways you can rescue an initiative that’s about to die?

Keywords: Choices; Creating positive work cultures; Productivity; Teams connecting.